I’m not focusing on my job like I said I should be. In several areas in my life, my actions are contradicting what I’m proclaiming to be my new "agenda." For instance, with my job, I claim that I am concentrating on my work performance and ethic, yet every night I’m out till closing time and coming into work late, my thoughts and attention span scattered. I have been saying that I wanted to get screened today for depression because it’s National Depression Screening Day, yet I wake up as late as possible to still make it into work at a decent time, forgoing my depression screening. I took a cab to work today that cost $40, money that I shouldn’t be spending. It’s weird though about missing the screening…lately I’ve been feeling very maniac – I’m so jubilant and optimistic about what lies ahead for my future. This is suspicious since this new outlook on life coincides with the screening, something I should do because it will help me in the long term.

I think Coldplay is the new Radiohead. I love the song "Yellow"; it evokes the same emotions that Radiohead's Tom Yorke does.
Coldplay
"Yellow"

I ran into Mr. cute goatee man last night.

[17-10-2001] He sat down next to me and asked if I was here the night before. I smirked, "Yeah I was - I was the guy you said was cute, but nelly." He denied that he said this, and I basically laughed it off. We started talking, and I found him to be, in retrospect, quite charming. As we flirted, he told me he's 38 and moved back to San Diego from Hawaii. We later exchanged phone numbers, and I walked Dennis home since the place he was staying was around the corner from mine, which in itself is a "it's a small world" story. Dennis is staying with Kerry, a man I had walked home from the Loft about a week before because he was too drunk, and I admit, I was a bit inebriated myself. I ended up staying the night at his place and ordering Domino's pizza, ill-spent money; I had one slice and the rest remained out all night and had to be tossed the next morning. Kerry and I had fooled around a bit, but nothing happened since I wasn't really interested in him, a lack of interest exacerbated by the drunken stupor he currently exhibited.

I said goodnight to Dennis and promised to call him in the days to come.