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Farmers' Almanac Astronomy - Full Moon Names

Going to the gym in a bit. Makes me glad. And saw Ann today and met David's wife and kids. Beautiful children, like their mom and dad. Hannah, their three-year old daughter, is very beautiful. Ann is so great; I've always worried that she might be mad at me for assuming her job when she was fired. And she kept telling me she wasn't and that she was happy for me, but I was just worried. She worked so hard for over a year and a half, and received no gratitude for any of it. When I assumed the position, some of the duties she performed were transitioned to other people; where she was working 75hrs/wk on average, I'm a consistent 40. I've wondered in the past what would cause her to work that many hours, but I'm pretty sure I know why. But I told her that I normally don't make weekly changes until Thursday afternoons and she gasped. This isn't always true - it just depends on the amount of changes for that week, and if there were any other promotions that week. So I felt bad; I didn't want her to doubt the long hours that she put in. And I don't think she would, but I wouldn't want it to cross her mind. It's mainly because of her hard work that I am where I am now in regard to the ease of my work. But I do work hard, plus I've assumed other duties that she never had when she was employeed at my work.

I wonder if anyone else has a fake or mulitple fake internet identities. I'm reminded of the Queer as Folk episode where Emmett tried to delete his online personality. I have two that I use (I know, bad ol' me), but I think I should delete them. I only created them so I could talk to someone since I don't have a pic. Oh well - Kinko's is around the corner.

Well at least I did one of the things I was talking about; I am working out. But I still need to take my car to the mechanic. I have been lazy, waking up too late to have it towed and then get into work at a decent hour.

I'm also too lazy to go grocery shopping, so I went to Panda Express last night and also rented "Ghost World" and "Artificial Intelligence". Both were very dark and somber, but as typical I liked them. Ghost World was quirky, but kinda died at the end, as did AI. AI was slightly disturbing: it reminded me of Oedipus Rex.

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Tomorrow I take my car to get the engine rebuilt. I originally had an estimate of $2,700, but Dave, a friend of Dee Ann's, recommended this place in National City. They gave me an estimate of $870 plus tax for the engine, and worst case scenario, about $1,000 more for labor to install and to bring my car up to current standards - the only thing I really understood was something about the gas; they need to change something to process unleaded gasoline better. I think it will increase my average miles per gallon, so that, of course, is a good thing. So I should have a running car soon. I'll have to reinstate my insurance though.

I'm trying to be more disciplined, and it's not working. I'm trying to get myself into a schedule. I had to drop out of school, and sorta got in a bad funk over it. Tonight I was in a great mood and went to the Loft, and all my joy was sucked out of me the second I stepped into the place. But I played pool for awhile and had a few beers, and managed to maintain my high spirits, so that's good.

I joined the gym about a week ago. Been twice. I am going to work out in the mornings before I go to work. I know it is better for my metabolism to work out just after I've woken up, plus there shouldn't be too many people there at 5am. I'm intimidated to work out when there are a lot of people there. I've become a tank! I sang with the Grossmont Master Chorale at the El Cajon Performing Arts Center and St. Michael's Catholic Church in Poway for a Celtic Celebration, and I had to buy a size 40 pants. I fell horrid. Plus, I haven't worn my tux jacket in 2 years; I bought it after I had lost 40 pounds. To my dismay, it was too small. I felt like a stuffed pig. I was about to hole myself in the men's restroom like a diva... "no, I will NOT be performing tonight.. go away.."

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I haven't been posting at all lately; to be honest, I haven't been really motivated. I'm going through a severe depression right now. I feel like I'm treading water, barely above the surface from drowning.

I bought a 1969 Ford Custom for $200 on February 19th, and had it less than 16 hours before it overheated on the University Ave. offramp on the 163. I came back an hour later with David and filled the radiator with water and anti-freeze discovering that one of the water hoses busted. The car was able to start, but as I tried to merge into traffic, the car completely stalled and wouldn't start again. The engine would click once, and then nothing - I could see that the fan would jerk once and then nothing as I tried the ignition since the hood of the car was up. David added me to his AAA account and I had the car towed back to his place (I bought the car from his neighbor, this crazy, drugged-out Italian Lesbian, as belligerent as my mother). David's roommate Greg, an new Iowa transplant, looked the car over the next day and informed me that the head gasket blew, so I had the car towed to San Diego Auto Smog and Repair Centre, hoping that I'd have the car back within a week. I was prepared to spend $800 for a total car overhaul, and that day, I even secured car insurance, making a $244 down payment to East Group Auto Insurance. However, the next day the mechanic tells me that the engine needs to be repair completely, running about $2,700. The following day, I had my driving test and passed, so now I'm licensed to drive - and I had car insurance, but no longer had a running car. I was going to call Ecology Auto Wrecking ("we pay you cash for your junk car!") to come pick the car up, but a friend of Dee Ann (and a Loft acquaintance of mine) named David wants to buy the car from me. So I had it towed today to my house, and David will pick it up sometime in the near future. I cancelled my insurance yesterday, since I won't have a car for at least 3 more months.

I also withdrew from school - yet again. This is like the 6th straigh semester that I've had to do this, and for basically the same reason: no transportation. I'm so upset; not only will the prerequisite classes I planned to have completed this semester not be satisfied, I've needlessly spent approximately $500 on textbooks and supplies.

It's already March 1st - the days are flying by fast. I talked with David Hulse about this fact, and he told me to wait until I'm in my 40s - the months fly by; the days are just a blur. How do I hold on to my days and nights? Reminds me of "Hold on to the Nights" by Richard Marx. At least I know it's not just me with this problem.